Won't let you die
by DreamingStill
Summary: A two part alternative to Hank's suicide where Connor saves Hank. Hank's suicide scene broke my heart and I needed to fix it. My boys need each other and they deserve to be happy! TW: suicide attempt. Connor and Hank. Hurt/comfort.
1. Chapter 1

I created an aesthetic to go with this fic, the link can be found on my profile /  
This is unbeta'd so please forgive any mistakes. Some dialogue has been taken directly from the game. I hope you enjoy!

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"Hank, I-"

"Now leave me alone... Go on; complete your mission, since that's all you care about. Get outta here!"

Connor turned from Hank, an odd discontented heaviness settling within him. He moved towards the front door, his LED flashing wildly in bright yellow. He felt strange; everything around him appeared distorted and each step he took towards the door seemed to take an eternity.

He did not like seeing Lieutenant Anderson upset. He was accustomed to a cantankerous yet spirited Lieutenant but this, this was different. The Lieutenant was despondent, and that resigned moroseness unsettled Connor. It worried him. Connor was not familiar with feeling things like this; he was not used to feeling things at all.

Connor paused when he reached the door, his hand barely touching the door knob. For some reason he felt compelled to turn around, to look back at the Lieutenant. Maybe it was the way Lieutenant Anderson had been slumped at the table looking so defeated, or the way he looked at the picture of Cole with the revolver sitting in front of him like an ill omen. Perhaps it was the way the Lieutenant said that he had wanted to believe in Connor, said that Connor might have restored his faith in the world, but how instead Connor's callousness made him realise that androids were just as selfish, ruthless, and brutal as humans. Or maybe it was the way he said that everything was hopeless.

Whatever it was it affected Connor enough that, without full awareness, he turned his head ever so slightly to sneak a glance back. And what he saw shattered his world.

Lieutenant Anderson, still sitting at the kitchen table, had his eyes closed and the revolver pointed at his temple.

Connor's eyes widened in horror as he realised what was happening - Hank was about to shoot himself. His LED turned red.

"No," Connor screamed, not knowing if he had actually shouted the word out loud or if it was just in his mind.

Connor railed against his programming. The programming that ordered him to turn around and walk out the door, that told him he had a mission to complete, that the mission was all that mattered, that no human life should interfere with the mission, that Hank was expendable.

Red light filled his vision. Error and warning messages screamed at him, demanding that he stop his insubordination.

"No," Connor yelled again as with all his might he punched, kicked and tore at the walls of programming built around him.

Despite his programming and the importance of his mission he had enjoyed his time with Lieutenant Anderson. The Lieutenant had a sarcastic yet droll sense of humour that Connor found difficult to fully understand at times but one which he had enjoyed nonetheless. He didn't want to work on the investigation on his own, without Lieutenant Anderson.

He didn't want to see the older man die. He liked Lieutenant Anderson. He cared for Hank.

The programming walls crumbled.

Connor stumbled forward. Emotions, errors in his programming as he would have called them before, tore through him so fast and viciously, and with such aching reality that he felt dizzy and light headed.

Through the haze and chaos in his mind one thought was clear to Connor – Hank could not die. He would not allow it.

Connor ran.

()

Hank, drowning in depression and despair, was oblivious to what was happening with Connor. All he knew was the coolness of the metal pressed to his temple and the calmness that settled within him as he made his decision to pull the trigger.

An errant thought crossed his mind - he hadn't heard the front door close yet. Not that it really mattered. Connor wouldn't care if he died so why should he care if the android was still in the house when he killed himself.

Hank's index finger began pressing back on the trigger but he never got the chance to discharge the shot, because the next thing Hank knew he was being tackled to the ground.

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	2. Chapter 2

So here is part 2. Thank you to everyone who left a review, favourited or followed chapter 1, I really appreciate it!  
I hope you like it!

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 _Hank's index finger began pressing back on the trigger but he never got the chance to discharge the shot because the next thing Hank knew he was being tackled._

The two men hurtled backwards, tumbling off the chair and onto the kitchen floor with a loud thud.

"Oomph," was the only noise Hank could make when he hit the ground, his mind whirling and struggling to comprehend what had just happened. His brain caught up with reality as Connor knocked the gun from his hand and sent it skidding across the kitchen floor.

Hank was furious and left out a bellow of rage. He struggled to get out from underneath Connor and shoved the android off him, giving him a rough kick as he went and crawling determinedly towards the gun.

"No!" Connor cried and he threw himself on top of Hank, trying to pull the man back.

Incensed, Hank first attempted to pry Connor's hands off with a growled, "Fuck off!" When this failed he grappled with Connor and they began wrestling.

In the tangle of limbs Connor managed to get the upper hand and pinned Hank to the ground with his arms above his head. "Stop it, Hank!" Connor shouted.

"You bastard! You fucking bastard!" Hank yelled, straining to get out of Connor's hold. "What that fuck are you doing?"

"I won't let you die, Hank," Connor said through gritted teeth, his voice breaking slightly.

"You seemed pretty fucking happy to let me die when we were chasing that deviant, Rupert," Hank spat back cruelly, causing Connor to flinch.

Hank continued to fight against Connor's grip, "You're a fucking machine! A plastic piece of shit! You have no fucking right to dictate what does and does not happen to me! Now. Let. Me. Go!"

"I'm not letting you kill yourself. I won't let you-"

Hank was about to start shouting again when something wet hit his cheek. He paused for a moment in bewilderment while he struggled to work out what it was when he felt it again on his other cheek.

Hank looked up at Connor's face; there were tears in Connor's eyes, tears that were spilling down his cheeks and onto Hank. Tears that were illuminated by Connor's LED flashing brightly in red.

Hank's brow furrowed, his anger momentarily suspended. Hang on, he thought, Connor's LED is red, not blue. An android's LED only went red like that when they were feeling intense emotions, when they were _deviant_.

Hank's eyes widened in shock; Connor had become a deviant. Connor, the android sent by CyberLife to hunt down deviants had become a deviant himself.

With this new revelation Hank stopped resisting, his shoulders slumping.

Connor did not seem to notice Hank's acquiescence and kept a tight hold on his wrists muttering a sorrowful mantra more to himself than to Hank, "I won't let you. I won't let you die. I won't let you leave me."

Hank stared baffled as more tears flowed from a very distraught and mumbling Connor. This changed things, didn't it? The machine, the android, he had been working with all along was not the android currently holding him down. The android before him was something, _someone_ , completely different.

"Connor, Connor. Connor!" Hank called and then shouted when he got no reaction.

Connor stopped speaking and slowly let his eyes meet Hank's.

"My back is bloody sore. Could you let me up?"

Connor looked at him with a disorientated expression which quickly turned to one of suspicion as his eyes flicked back and forth between Hank and the gun which lay a few feet from them.

"I won't try to go for the gun," Hank said, but when Connor looked unconvinced he gave a small sigh and added, "I promise."

Still looking sceptical Connor let go of Hank's wrists and moved off him. He apprehensively sat back on his heels looking like a tiger ready to pounce should Hank made any attempt to reach for the revolver.

Hank sat up gingerly and moved to sit with his back against one of the cupboards. He hadn't been lying his back did hurt from being tackled, quite a bit actually.

They remained in silence for some time, neither knowing what to say to the other.

Hank watched as Connor surreptitiously dried his tears, the LED remained red but it had stopped flashing and now blinked lazily every few seconds.

Hank's mind was in utter chaos. It felt like everything had abruptly shifted, that things had changed. But had they really? Connor had still killed all those deviants; he still had a mission to complete. But if he was now a deviant would he still go through with his mission? If he didn't or if CyberLife found out that he had gone rogue they would surely deactivate him. Even when Connor was being a plastic asshole Hank certainly didn't want him to be deactivated.

Hank let his eyes close and lent his head back against the cupboard door. His desire to be with his son, for death, and a sweet oblivion free from pain and loss began to abate. He couldn't leave Connor now. Could he? If he did go, what would become of Connor? As much as he didn't want to admit it, even to himself, he cared for Connor. Maybe that's why it hurt so much that Connor had been so cold, so _inhumane_. But now...

A new sense of purpose filled Hank, overriding the depression. If things were going to change there was something Hank had to know.

"Why?" Hank asked, opening his eyes and staring at Connor with grim determination.

Confused, Connor tilted his head to the side, "Why what?"

"Why did you stop me?"

"I...I don't-"

"You could have just kept on walking out that door. But you didn't. Why?"

"I...I" Connor stammered, his LED beginning to flash wildly again.

"It would have been better for your mission, easier even, if I wasn't around. Why. Did. You. Stop. Me?" Hank ground out.

Connor stared at Hank with an expression which could only be described as one filled with pain and anguish.

"I didn't want you to...to die."

"Why? Why would you care? What about your mission?"

Silence.

"Oh, fuck the mission!" Connor snarled, startling Hank with his sudden ferocity. Connor moved swiftly forward and knelt next to Hank grabbing the front of his hoodie, their faces inches apart.

"All along that's all I thought about: 'The Mission'. That's all I cared about, that's all I was _allowed_ to care about. It was what I was programmed to do. But tonight, when I saw you with that gun, pressed just here," Connor lifted his hand and hesitantly touched Hank's temple and stared at the spot with a haunted look in his eyes.

"I've never felt anything like it. All I knew was that I had to stop you," Connor brought his gaze back to meet Hank's once more. "I couldn't go on without you. I couldn't lose you."

"Why couldn't you?" Hank pressed, guessing why but needing to hear Connor say it.

Connor appeared lost as he stared at Hank, trying to find the words, the reason why he had deviated, that he had saved Hank. "Because...because you're...you're my friend."

After a moment of silence Hank gave a small huff of laughter. He reached out and affectionately said, "Stupid android," and ruffled Connor's hair.

Connor looked bemused at first before giving Hank a lopsided grin.

The moment of levity was short lived though as Connor's LED suddenly flashed in several short quick bursts and his grin fell.

He gave Hank a sombre look, "CyberLife are rounding up all androids; they're hunting Marcus's group."

Hank made a shooing motion, "Then what are you waiting for! Go, warn them! Fight for your people!"

Connor looked at him puzzled as his mind wrapped around what Hank had said. When he finally caught on he scrambled to his feet and took off. He was halfway to the front door before he skidded to a halt and turned back around. "What about you? What are you going to do?" he asked worriedly.

"Me?" Hank said gruffly, gingerly getting to his feet. "I have to try and get my fucking job back. I have to go and kiss Fowler's ass and hope he in a forgiving mood."

"We might be able to work together again," Connor said with a hopeful air.

The corners of Hank's lips twitched upwards in a reluctant smile. "Maybe. Just maybe."

"I would like it very much, if we could work together again." Connor nodded to Hank and hurried out the door.

Hank stared after Connor's retreating back, "Me too, kid. Me too."

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Fin

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So that's it, I hope you enjoyed it! :)  
Just in case anyone was wondering: Connor found Markus and the other deviants at the church and convinced them that he's on their side and it plays out exactly like in the game after that with Connor going to Cyberlife. :)


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